Scott Brassart In today’s world, pornography is more affordable and accessible than ever, especially after the holidays when so many of us acquired a new digital device or two. And there are a whole lot of (mostly uninformed) opinions about whether the ever-increasing availability of pornography is good or bad or neither or both. Some […]
Scott Brassart Gratitude is helpful to the process of recovery, and it leads to a happier, healthier life. It is also useful from a relationship healing standpoint. The best research on this has been conducted by Dr. Brené Brown. Over the course of several years, she conducted thousands of in-depth interviews examining the factors that […]
Scott Brassart In his book, Out of the Doghouse: A Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, Dr. Rob Weiss lists seven things that cheating men can do to help mend their damaged relationship and re-establish an intimate bond with their betrayed partner. These seven tasks include: Develop empathy for your partner. Learn to disagree in […]
Scott Brassart If you’re a recovering addict, it is inevitable that you will at least occasionally feel triggered toward relapse. You’ll find yourself feeling lonely or bored or anxious or stressed out, and then you’ll start thinking about the emotional escape your addiction once provided. Or you’ll be at the gym working out, minding your […]
Scott Brassart The process for both short-term and long-term sobriety is relatively simple: (1) Know what your triggers are; (2) Plan for how to deal with each of those triggers; and (3) Practice your plan. It is important to have at least a few go-to tools that you can turn to when triggered, such as […]
Scott Brassart A few days ago, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I wasn’t just restless, irritable, and discontent, I was flat out pissed off and in a nasty mood. About what, I have no idea. There was nothing on my agenda for the day that I was dreading, the bills […]
Scott Brassart Affirmations are an important recovery tool. They are powerful messages that confirm our worth, reminding us that who we are today is OK and enough. Affirmations validate that we are not defined by our past behavior, no matter how bad it was. Affirmations are stated to replace ‘shame tapes’ and other ongoing internal […]
Scott Brassart In a recent post, I discussed the fact that recovering sex and porn addicts can develop a healthy and enriching sex life and how to best go about that. The obvious follow-up to that post is an examination of how recovering sex/porn addicts who are not currently in a relationship can safely date […]
Scott Brassart Sex and porn addicts uniformly report that escalation is a part of their addiction. Over time, they find that they need to spend more time engaging in their addiction and they must also increase the intensity of their behaviors. This is true with all forms of addiction, not just sex and porn addiction. […]