We are doing better than I imagined (so far). ALUM been taking recovery seriously and REALLY demonstrating growth. He’s been out of SILA 3 1/2 weeks now – goes to meetings everyday and just got a sponsor he really respects (talks to him daily, does homework for him, etc). He’s seeing his CSAT therapist weekly and loves working with her. His entire demeanor changed. It’s as if I have my husband back, but a better version. Our child has been thrilled since he got back from “school” and can’t get enough of him. He’s a very loving dad.

I’ve been pretty emotional, trying to process everything as you’d expect. I think it’s a good sign though. For a while, I was like a deer in headlights. We both have hard days, but it feels like we’re a team. ALUM has met me with so much empathy, warmth, humility, accountability. I expected that right when he left SILA and wondered if he’d slowly revert back. It’s been the opposite so far. Each week seems better than the previous. He is constantly expressing his gratitude for SILA, his third week there (lol) and the amazing people.

I feel so humbled to have had this experience alongside him. You helped support me and make that possible and I am so grateful for you. I don’t know how to thank you, Jessica and Erin (SI:LA therapists) for the positive impact you had on me. It may seem small, but I felt so lost and you helped me find my strength again! I hope you are doing well and hope to see you at your next prodependence session!


I am doing pretty well, I am coming up on 18 months sobriety and honestly could not have done it without Seeking Integrity’s help. The program has changed my life and I am so grateful for it.


Seeking Integrity gave me my life back, a life I didn’t even know I had lost, and for that I’m forever grateful.


I finished my 4 week treatment at Seeking Integrity, and it was an amazing experience. I’m beyond grateful to the team for the work you’re all doing. I truly believe that going to SILA saved my life.


If you want a vacation, don’t go to SI:LA. If you want to be coddled, don’t go to SI:LA. If you are ready to be fearless and face your demons and say F*** YOU to your addiction, then this is the place for you. I am now a little more than a month out from leaving SI:LA, and I am 100% certain I made the right choice.

SI Alum

Seeking Integrity helps betrayed partners find the truth of their situation, to cut through the lies and excuses to find facts and reality. Seeking Integrity has done a lot for my emotional wellbeing, giving me empathy, tools to identify red flags, and the ability to recognize my partner’s sincerity and sorrow.

Betrayed Partner

Taking Seeking Integrity’s online workgroups for sex addiction (all three levels) has been amazing for my sobriety. Before, I couldn’t stay sober for more than a few weeks at a time. With the workgroups, I’ve stayed sober for almost six months. Finally, I feel ready to work on my deeper issues and healing my relationship.

Online Workgroup Alum

Seeking Integrity truly changed my life. I was lost, alone and very scared when I first started my recovery journey. I was on the brink of losing my family and my relationship and I needed help. They helped me break through the denial that I was feeling and helped me to realize that I had a problem and that I needed help. The entire team at Seeking Integrity set me on the path of recovery and helped me to understand my addiction and provided me with the tools to stay sober and keep working my program. They entire team was passionate and caring towards me and I knew that I was in the right place. They also did an amazing job with providing support for my spouse while I was away and were able to get her set up with an amazing CSAT to help her through this process as well. The connections that I made at Seeking Integrity will last me a lifetime and I am eternally grateful for the changes that they inspired in me during my time there.

SI Alum

My husband is an alumnus of SI:LA and after many years of addiction(s) and acting out [Sex, marijuana, control, eating/drinking]. He finally did some deep work at SI that clearly has made an impact on him! I wanted to tell you (and the staff) Thank you! I want to express my deepest gratitude for your expertise and for helping so many people like us. The staff at SI who I interacted with (as a spouse) were phenomenal too.

I see peace, joy, and motivation in my husband that I have not seen before or can remember. He seems to have a deeper understanding of himself and a real commitment to sobriety and health. He tells me he understands more about how he got to be an addict and how selfish and narcissistic he has been all his life, and how horrible he treated me and tried to control me. He also seems to not be holding on to shame as in the past, which is huge. It seems he sees his life with new eyes and a conviction to live differently going forward.

Admittedly, I was very skeptical that a two-week program would make a difference in my husband’s recovery process. When I heard there was a possibility of him staying the 3rd week before he went, I asked him (encouraged him) if he would stay longer (he was looking at a 30-day residential program as well). He was very reluctant and assumed he would only be at SI two weeks. Fortunately, he did end up staying a third week at SI after all. I was happy about that, but still wondered if 3 weeks would be enough dedicated time to doing deep work to make a real difference.

Of course, he is only back home for # months so time will tell if he sticks to his recovery plan. But honestly, he does seem different than before. I’m so glad he chose SI because the work he did and his interactions with you (Dr. Rob) at SI has impacted him. He lovingly recalls being “Robbed” and watching others get “Robbed” as some of his biggest aha’s and has expressed such gratitude for your confrontation (even though it was uncomfortable).

I’m happy to confirm he is doing his aftercare work. He’s scheduling meetings as a priority over his work appointments! That is HUGE.

I first learned about you (note written to Dr. Rob) and Prodependence about a couple years ago on a youtube video I stumbled upon while looking into codependency. This is long before SI was ever on my radar (or his). I was so moved by your video, I cried (I did a lot more crying back then). I bought your book immediately. I felt like you were the first therapist that saw betrayed partners differently and I felt like someone could see into my soul and understood me and how I felt. In my own recovery work the past couple of years, I have appreciated learning about Prodependence vs codependence so early on. The Codependency term is still too prevalent in the betrayal therapist world (in my opinion). Your information has helped me keep a healthier perspective on my struggle rather than feeling labeled as one who was of enabling/contributing/causing my spouse’s addiction and acting out. The last thing I wanted to hear in those early stages was that I somehow caused him to act out, especially since I didn’t know he was acting out for most of our years together. A classic addict, he was a master liar, and manipulator and led his double life VERY WELL. Since learning about you, many times I have referred my recovery classmates/group mates to your video and recommended the book and how it has helped me! I also finally found another Facebook betrayed partner’s recovery group embracing Prodependence!

Recently I started listening to the Sex, Love and Addiction podcasts. These have been so helpful for me too. Thank you. Recovery Therapy is expensive and a commitment we have made as an investment in ourselves and as a couple. I really appreciate the free expert resources, but I can’t tell you enough that every penny we spent for SI, seems to have been a worthy investment so far. And, it was an expenditure I actually knew about, had a say in, and approved of regarding his addiction and recovery. We will only know its true benefit if he takes hold and applies what he learned.

Last, once I learned the connection of you (Dr. Rob) to SI:LA and that you actually worked with the residents with your team, I had a little more hope knowing my husband was in excellent hands! For this, I am thankful and hopeful. His recovery is up to him, but it seems SI:LA has really helped him along in his long-term battle and pursuit of sobriety and recovery.

– 8.10.22

I am beginning to think you may still have my husband at Seeking Integrity. The man you sent home is present, supportive, and definitely sane. So, if you still have my old husband there, please keep him. I like this new guy!

– 3.22.22

When I left home for Seeking integrity, I was very scared and filled with shame. I was soon made to feel right at home with each and every staff member I met. Dr. Weiss and Dr. Fawcett are amazing and so incredibly knowledgeable. They worked with me and the other clients in a caring but firm manner. The other members of the clinical team were all so passionate about their dedication to help their clients recover. I learned so much about myself and left with invaluable tools to continue my recovery. I also met other clients who I made deep connections with. I keep in touch with these guys to further the strength of my recovery. I am forever grateful to the entire Seeking Integrity team and very proud of myself for committing to attend this life-changing treatment program to save me from my addiction and save my family and marriage.

– SI Treatment, 9.14.21

After seeing how you broke through and successfully got my husband on the road to recovery and healing, as well as learning how to value himself as the good man he is, you have subsequently helped me tremendously. He continues to work hard and that inspires me to work hard, knowing we have a long road ahead of us.

– SI Treatment, 6.14.21

I continue to be incredibly grateful for the services and support that you and your team provide. From my spouse’s 2-week stay in treatment up until today, all of the workshops, blogs, rooms, and groups. SO MUCH support.

– SI Treatment, 5.10.21

Picked up my one year medallion tonight! Thanks to you and everyone there for your part in helping me to get to this point. Recovery has really helped all parts of my life. I have a happiness now that had eluded me for many years.

– SI Treatment, 2.25.21

I worked with experienced professionals and my fellow addicts to face, to feel, and to free myself of so many negatives in my life and my past. I trusted, I surrendered, and I let something wonderful happen to me. Today, I am home, working the tools and commitments necessary for a real recovery, openly sharing everything with my wife, and I have never felt better in my life. Thank you to everyone at Seeking Integrity, and to all my fellow SI alumni.

– Seeking Integrity Treatment, 2.11.21

I now have hope that I can keep working every day, one day at a time, to be the man, the husband, the father that I had always meant to be.

– Seeking Integrity Treatment, 2.10.21

A full (and sober!) year out of Seeking Integrity and my life has never been better. SI is only the beginning of a lifelong journey, but it was exactly what I needed to get on the road to recovery.

– Seeking Integrity Treatment, 2.8.21

Plain and simple, Seeking Integrity changed the trajectory of my life.

– Seeking Integrity Treatment, 1.6.21

I’ve struggled with alcoholism and compulsive sexual behavior for many years; it’s ruined relationships and devastated the lives of people who loved me. My time at SI:LA was incredibly impactful. The staff are caring and professional and the environment is comfortable but allows for the hard work that needs to take place. The insights and therapy I got at SI:LA were insightful, profound and have launched me on a new, sober life–a way back after so many years of darkness and addiction.

– Seeking Integrity Treatment, 10.17.20

Seeking Integrity was my bridge from the overpowering feelings of shame, guilt, and despair to a new life of clarity, peace, and hope.

– Seeking Integrity: Men’s treatment program, 10.16.20

Thank you so much for talking and listening to me today! I can’t tell you how much better I feel after having someone listen and validate my experiences and everything I’ve been feeling. It was definitely useful and I feel a lot clearer on what to do going forward.

– For Online Support session (betrayed partner), 8.10.20

The therapists at the Seeking Integrity treatment center were all exceptional. I recently reconnected with one of them on a Zoom call and I felt a well of emotion, with powerful feelings and memories of the center all flooding back. My 2 weeks there was a life-changing time.

– From Alumni SH, 7.22.20

Looking back on my experience at SI:LA: I will take with me a belief in myself, a renewed connection to my wife, and an appreciation of what I can gain through sobriety. I understand how this insidious disease happens, and have found a few lifelong trudging buddies.

I have learned tools to keep me safe from my addictive tendencies, and that my defenses are helping to keep me sick. I have learned to pause, and gain the presence of mind to make a good decision. And I have laid the foundation such that I believe will last for long-term recovery.

Most of all, I came to believe that I’ve done some monstrous things, but I’m not a monster; that I deserve to be sober and to heal; that I am enough; that I can be a great husband and father; that I like myself!

To therapy staff: Thank you, thank you; a thousand time, thank you. The safe space created by you all (the staff) allowed me to delve into secrets I thought I would take to my grave, and I began to relieve some of the shame that fueled my addiction. In just a matter of days, you turned around my perspective and gave me hope for myself and my marriage. You pushed me when I needed it, and you inspired me to do the work I need to do in order to heal. I believe I can fight this addiction now, and I’m able to appreciate what’s at stake. I can’t express my gratitude enough.
You have helped me to find integrity, and given me the tools to start living as a complete person again.

– Alumni JC, 2.14.20

To SI:LA staff:
I wish I could stay longer and receive more! Karen, you were tough on me, but I desperately needed it.
Looking back on my experience at SI:
I’m going to take the program and all the experiences, all the things you guys shared with me. Although the program of recovery is just starting for me, I’ve gained the knowledge and experiences at SI:LA to gain victory over this disease. But I know I cannot do it alone now!
The lodgings and hospitality were excellent, very comfortable and plenty of room. Everyone was very friendly and nice.

– Alumni ED, 2.21.20

Karen is direct, caring and inspiring. Jason is always supportive, caring and good man!

– Alumni TT, 2.17.20

I believe they go above and beyond to help the addict, the spouse (if there
is one) and the clinician, which is huge for me!

– Amy Bloom, LICSW, CSAT, CMAT, 2.7.20

Dr. David Fawcett is exceptional in his knowledge of chemsex in the LGBTQ+ community.

– Michelle Holloman, MS, LCAS-A, CSAT-C

I second the recommendation of Seeking Integrity, Dr. Rob Weiss’ program in LA. He and his team provided exceptional clinical care and communication with me while my client was attending the program. Because it is a smaller program, my client was not overwhelmed with 20-30 people.

– Michelle Holloman, MS, LCAS-A, CSAT-C, 2.4.20

This is from someone who went to a different program-thought he could save $:
I sought help at another facility and wound up not receiving that help. What happened was they had a separate program for sex addiction and mental health but I got lumped in with drugs and alcohol. I really did try to get as much from that program as I could but it was not geared toward my particular issues. So I left, with disastrous consequences. Now I am not sure if I am in a divorce or just a separation. I wish there was a way for me to undo this situation.

– 12.9.19

I was so pleased when my esteemed and experienced colleague Dr. Rob Weiss started his own treatment center. With Dr. Rob and Tami VerHelst at the helm, I knew I could relax and expect greatness. Now that I have experienced how Seeking Integrity and their staff handle my clients with compassion and expertise while staying in close communication with me during my client’s inpatient experience, my expectations are happily confirmed. The results were striking. Seeking Integrity is a solid referral I can make with great confidence.

– Nan Tilbury, LPC, CSAT, Certified Daring Way Facilitator, 11.26.19

Couples workshop:
In the time leading up to the workshop I was pretty skeptical that this could work. I was in so much pain and had already been in therapy for months to no avail. But I can honestly say that those three days with Paul and Karen completely changed the trajectory of our marriage and our healing. I came away with tools to help me when I start to despair or “spiral” as I call it. Actual concrete things to do when my mind won’t turn off or my emotions get the best of me. I never felt blamed, shamed or anything other than fully supported the entire time and the ideas of co-dependence and co-addict are now erased from my vocabulary! My husband and I have completely committed to one another and are renewing our vows as a fresh start. I know things will not be easy, life with an addict rarely is, but with the skills we were taught during the workshop I feel more positive and hopeful than ever. I am very grateful that this program exists and encourage anyone who wants to begin to repair their marriage to give it a try.

– 10.26.19

My experience with Seeking Integrity was about understanding and acceptance. When we first arrived I was full of shame, denial, and depression. Dr. Rob, Dr. David, and team helped me learn about “rigorous” honesty, consequences, and the meaning of vulnerability. These were tested and practiced in group, individual therapy, and daily living while in LA (and continue today).

Exercises and sessions allowed me to get in touch with my emotions, trauma, and enmeshment, examining personal experiences that had been locked deep inside of me. My feeling of shame began to wash into guilt and sadness. These are more constructive emotions that I can learn from, work with, and own. The toolset from the team has proven to be extremely valuable as I move along my path to recovery.

We also attended 12-step meetings and the power of humility, honesty, and connection was clearly evident.

Upon return, finding a great sponsor and working the steps, meeting regularly with my home group have given me access to the experience, strength, and hope that I need to stay sober.

The group of us who attended SI stay in touch weekly or even daily, as we are deeply connected and more that willing to check in and help each other.
I will always be grateful!

– 7.15.19