Your support and participation are vital to effective treatment, and your voice will resonate throughout your partner’s treatment. There are a number of ways you can and hopefully will participate in the healing and recovery process.
First and foremost, we ask that you write a letter that will be read to your partner in treatment. This letter will explain what you believe the problem is and how that problem has impacted both you and your relationship. You will include things like how long you’ve been aware of the problem, specific thoughts and behaviors that you feel are part of the problem, what life issues you think contribute to the problem, and how you think the problem affects you and your family.
Additionally, our therapeutic team will be in contact with you at least a few times during your partner’s treatment, asking for clarification about certain points and perhaps asking you to participate in a therapist-facilitated video session with your partner as a way of conveying important information or working through a particular issue. At the very least, you will receive updates on your partner’s progress, during which you can voice any hopes or concerns you have. And at the end of your partner’s treatment, his aftercare program will be described to you so you will understand what he needs to do to continue on the path of recovery and healing, and what you can do to facilitate that.
We will also strongly suggest that you find support for yourself. Experiencing the type of betrayal you’ve been through (and are still going through) is painful. So even though you are not the one with the identified problem, you deserve informed and empathic support. To that end, we suggest the free online support we offer through our SexandRelationshipHealing.com website.
You might also want to pick up a copy of the book Prodependence, written by Dr. Robert Weiss to help partners of addicts. Lastly, we suggest you check out the blogs and podcasts on SexandRelationshipHealing.com created specifically to help betrayed partners.