Clients seeking treatment at Seeking Integrity understandably want guidance about how long they will attend our program. Below are some of the general guidelines we follow, keeping in mind that each person’s needs may vary based on their past history and current concerns.

14-Day Length of Stay

Our 14-day length of stay provides our essential programming. The men who stay 14 days are typically in a crisis related to their addictive porn use and other sexual behaviors. In 14 days, we can help clients gain concrete insight and direction toward behavior change while also offering insight into underlying problems.

This length of stay may be a fit for you if you are experiencing one or more of the following:

  • Difficulty building and maintaining intimate relationships.
  • Difficulty getting started with the addiction healing process.
  • Inability to focus and succeed in work/school related to your sex or porn problems.
  • Conflict because your sexual life is out of sync with your values and beliefs.
  • A secret, highly compartmentalized sexual life.
  • Struggles to change or eliminate patterns of compulsive sexual behavior.
  • Time and money spent on sexual and romantic behaviors that would be better spent on family, recreation, self-care, and other life priorities.

You will likely need a longer stay (21 or 28 days) if you have any of the following:

  • Professional license subject to review, suspension, or revocation because of your sex/porn behaviors.
  • A current committed relationship that is in crisis related to your sexual or romantic behaviors.
  • A current or recent history of active alcohol/substance abuse.
  • A current or recent history of psychiatric hospitalization or daycare (further inquiry required).
  • A history of abusive, violent, or illegal sex/porn behaviors (further inquiry required).
  • Sex or porn-related problems directly related to the workplace — sex or affairs with co-workers, clients, students, etc. 
  • Active legal consequences related to sexual acting out.

A 14-day stay provides personalized direction, sobriety tools, and the type of day-to-day planning needed for a healthy, non-addictive life. This length of stay is ideal for men who are not struggling with active or recent substance abuse, who do not have an active mental health crisis, and who are not in a relationship crisis.

21-Day Length of Stay

A 21-day length of stay is our primary offering. This length of stay takes a deeper dive into unidentified or unresolved past trauma, including neglect, abuse, enmeshment, and related concerns. A 21-day stay is also designed to help heal current or ongoing relationship crises related to sexual acting out. This length of stay is also useful for men who continually struggle to succeed in a longer-term relationship.

A 21-day stay may be right for you if you have:

  • Addictive, compulsive, and problematic sexual behavior, which may include porn and affairs.
  • An immediate or long-term relationship crisis related to your sexual acting out.
  • Struggled to remain sober with substance abuse or other co-occurring addictions (food, substances, gaming, spending, etc.) in addition to your sexual acting out.
  • Repeatedly attempted but have been unsuccessful at achieving sexual sobriety or sexual healing via workshops, intensives, other residential programs, or other forms of treatment.
  • A desire to more deeply understand and address the underlying trauma that fuels the process of addiction.
  • Spent a great deal of time and money in different forms of therapy, only to find yourself continuing to sexually act out.

Our 21-day stay is designed to more deeply explore the ways in which past emotional injuries are negatively impacting current relationships and daily living. This length of stay has a robust focus on trauma and relationship healing, while also addressing other current crises.

28-Day Length of Stay

Our 28-day length of stay invites spouses, partners, and other family members to actively join in our clinical work. Their inclusion allows us to focus in a more individualized way on repairing and resolving both immediate and long-term marital, professional, legal, and other profound life crises related to sex and porn addiction. Our 28-day length of stay also provides men with co-occurring chemical or other addictions the opportunity to solidify their foundation for sobriety across their various addictive patterns.

Our 28-day length of stay may be right for you if you have:

  • A spouse or partner who wishes to be a highly engaged and active part of treatment.
  • Been experiencing professional licensing issues related to your sexual behavior.
  • Pressing legal concerns (active or past) related to your sexual acting out.
  • Repeatedly attempted but failed to maintain long-term sexual sobriety.
  • Repeatedly attempted but failed to maintain long-term chemical sobriety related to your sexual acting out.

The goals of our 28-day stay include dealing with co-occurring addictive behaviors, deep marital/relationship challenges, professional losses, and legal losses/consequences. Our doctoral-level staff has extensive experience working with betrayed partners and with various professionals, including doctors, attorneys, therapists, and clergy. We are regularly asked to address both relational and workplace/professional issues.

Extensions

We encourage the most effective length of stay before our clients commit to treatment. That said, unexpected information and/or circumstances may arise during treatment, necessitating a longer stay. In such cases, an extension may be recommended.

Extensions beyond the initially agreed-upon length of stay are usually recommended for one or more of the following reasons:

  • There is an initial resistance to treatment that inhibits or delays progress.
  • Extensive lying is uncovered during the treatment process.
  • Previously undisclosed and/or undiagnosed challenges are uncovered during treatment.
  • A client needs a longer period of stability and support in a controlled environment.
  • A client is simply not ready to return home to the rigors and temptations of daily life.

As you can see, there is no one answer to the question of how long treatment will take. It depends on a variety of factors and circumstances. When you call, our admissions team will address any questions or concerns you may have regarding your length of stay.

Are You Still Unsure About Your Proper Length of Stay?

If you are still unsure about the proper length of stay, we suggest you answer the following yes/no questions.

  1. Do parts of your sex life feel as if they are out of control?
  2. Are you struggling to quit (or cut back on) problematic sexual behaviors?
  3. Is your sex life compartmentalized, separate from the rest of your life?
  4. Is your sex life out of sync with your values and creating consequences in your life?
  5. Are you in a long-term, supposedly monogamous relationship that is struggling because of your sextracurricular behavior?
  6. Are you struggling to remain sober with substance abuse or other co-occurring addictions (food, gambling, video gaming, spending, etc.) in addition to your sexual acting out?
  7. Have you previously attempted but failed to achieve sexual sobriety and recovery via workshops, intensives, other residential programs, or other forms of treatment?
  8. Do you want to understand and start to address the underlying trauma and other issues that fuel your addiction?
  9. Do you have a spouse or partner who wishes to be a highly engaged and active part of treatment?
  10. Do you have legal concerns or professional licensing issues (active or past) related to your sexual acting out?
  11. Do you have a fused substance/sex addiction, where substance abuse and sexual acting out have become inextricably linked?
  12. Do you have a strong need to step away for an extended period from the people, places, and events in your life that trigger your addiction?

Your Recommended Length of Stay Is…

If you answered yes to questions 1 through 4, you need at least a 14-day stay.

If you answered yes to any of questions 4 through 8, you need at least a 21-day stay.

If you answered yes to any of questions 9 through 12, you need a 28-day stay.