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What Is Love Addiction?

Some sex addicts, porn addicts, and chemsex addicts also identify and love addicts, as in, “I’m a sex and love addict.” Without doubt, these addictions are often intertwined. That said, love addiction can be a standalone issue.

Generally speaking, love addicts are attracted to the same emotional/neurochemical intensity as sex, porn, and chemsex addicts, and they are just as detached from the reality of their situation. The main difference is that love addicts are typically focused on one partner (or potential partner) at a time. This one person becomes their primary (sometimes only) life focus. They lose interest in and ignore outside activities, friends, work, and other important aspects of life.

Love addicts spend their days focused on the search for sexual and romantic partners in every situation. They are always prepared for and ready to meet ‘the one.’ They always have some strategy in play to find, ensnare, and keep a new partner. They base nearly all of their life choices on their desire for the perfect relationship. This affects everything from wardrobe choices to endless hours at the gym, to engaging in hobbies/activities that may or may not interest them, to how they interact with others in social settings.

Common signs of love addiction include:

  • Mistaking intense sexual experiences and new romantic excitement for love.
  • Constantly craving and searching for a romantic relationship.
  • When in a relationship, getting bored and searching for a new relationship.
  • When not in a relationship, feeling desperate and alone.
  • When not in a relationship, compulsively using sex and fantasy to fill the loneliness
  • Participating in activities that don’t interest you or go against your personal values in order to get or keep a partner.
  • Using sex, seduction, and manipulation to catch or hold on to a partner.
  • Missing family, career, or social experiences to search for a romantic relationship.

Admittedly, all romantic relationships tend to exhibit some of the above signs at least occasionally. With love addiction, however, there is a consistent pattern of one or more (usually more) of these signs, and that pattern results in ongoing and eventually escalating negative life consequences to the addict and those who love and care for the addict.

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