What happens in treatment?
Treatment includes both individual and group therapy – most often a directive, accountability and behavior focused modality like cognitive behavioral therapy paired with social learning, psychoeducation, 12-step or other addiction-focused social support, and alternative methodologies like psychodrama, art and movement therapies, exercise, meditation, and experiential therapies. Our psychiatrist might also suggest that you begin a trial-run of an antianxiety or antidepressant medication, as these can reduce not only anxiety and depression but cravings to engage in problem sexual behaviors and substance abuse.
What does sex/porn addiction recovery look like?
Fortunately, unlike recovery for alcoholism and drug addiction, sexual sobriety and recovery are not defined by long-term abstinence. Celibacy is not a long-term solution to sex and porn addiction. Recognizing this, we define sexual sobriety and recovery as we define the process of healing with eating disorders – another area in which long-term abstinence is simply not feasible. Rather than permanently abstaining from all sexual activity, we ask clients to think about sexual sobriety and sexual recovery as learning to be sexual in non-compulsive, non-problematic, life-affirming ways.
What does substance/sex addiction recovery look like?
Fortunately, unlike recovery for alcoholism and drug addiction, sexual recovery is not defined by long-term abstinence. Celibacy is not a long-term solution to sex or porn addiction. Recognizing this, we define sexual sobriety and sexual recovery as we define recovery with eating disorders – another area in which long-term abstinence is simply not feasible. Rather than permanently abstaining from all sexual activity, we ask clients to think about recovery as learning to be sexual in non-compulsive, non-problematic, life-affirming ways.
The substance abuse half of your addiction is a different story. We will not teach you to drink and use like a gentleman. Instead, we believe in and teach the principles of long-term abstinence from addictive substances. If your substance use and sexual behavior have fused, we will teach you how to separate sex from substance abuse, and how you can be sexual in healthy (non-compulsive) ways that do not trigger your desire to use.
What does a treatment day look like?
- Full Bio-Psycho-Social and Psychosexual Evaluations
- Completion of the Sexual Dependency Inventory (Online)
- Trauma Identification and Containment
- Behaviorally Focused Individual and Group Therapy
- Addiction Education
- Social Learning and Peer Accountability
- Alternative Therapeutic Modalities (Art Therapy, Psychodrama, Adventure Therapy, etc.)
- 12-Step Sexual Recovery Focus and Participation
- Digital Era (Online) Recovery and Participation
- Prodependent Partner/Family Involvement
- Shame Resilience Work
- Self-Care (Exercise, Meditation, Yoga, etc.)
- Aftercare (Relapse Prevention) Planning and Implementation
- Continued Treatment-Group Interaction (Weekly Online Meetings)
Will I be able to contact my work, family, and friends?
Note: There is a 72-hour moratorium on digital communications after your arrival. Seeking Integrity will notify whoever you want about your arrival, but you will not be allowed to use your phone or any other digital device for the first 72 hours of treatment.
Why does Seeking Integrity look at both substance abuse and sex/intimacy issues?
Sometimes substance use and sexual behavior occur in tandem as a way of overcoming sexual shame, overcoming low self-esteem, disinhibiting oneself sexually, or enhancing the sex or drug experience. Other times sexual behaviors alternate with substance abuse, typically with substances being used to numb the shame of recent sexual behavior.
Many men who engage in both substance abuse and compulsive sexual behavior will admit to one problem but not the other. They admit they have a problem with substance abuse, but not sex and intimacy. Or they admit they have an issue with sex and intimacy, but not substances. Sometimes they go to rehab for the issue they’re willing to admit to, and then relapse related to the untreated half of their problem.
Some people think that the pairing/fusion of substances with sex is a gay men’s issue. However, substance/sex issues show up in every population. The term ‘chemsex’ is often used to describe gay and bisexual men with paired/fused substance/sex problems, but all types of people struggle with the combination of substance use and sex. Recognizing this, Seeking Integrity treats all men who struggle with substance/sex issues, regardless of sexual orientation.
At Seeking Integrity, we understand the interplay between substance use and sexual behavior. And we know that if substance/sex behaviors are in any way paired or fused, both issues must be addressed or relapse is almost inevitable. So whatever it is that you admit to when you enter treatment, we’re going to uncover the behaviors that are tied to it, and we’re going to address your problems completely and holistically. Because that is the best (and we think only) true pathway to long-term recovery and healing.
Isn’t treatment a little expensive?
Actually, no. If you find yourself struggling with our fee, consider some other ways you might spend a similar amount of money.
- A divorce lawyer (or at least the deposit).
- Child support for the next year (minimum).
- A weekend in Vegas with drugs and prostitutes (or maybe just a night).
- Rent on an ugly one-bedroom apartment for the next year after your spouse kicks you out.
- Your (not very fancy) funeral.
- A secret Disney dinner atop the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.
- A Victorian glass greenhouse. Because everybody needs one, right?
- A used Honda Civic. Lime green.
OK, some of our ideas here might seem a little hokey. If so, that’s because we decided to have a bit of fun with this response. Our more pointed, less delicate response to this question is that your addiction is destroying your life. So how much is your life worth? How much is your relationship with your partner and your kids worth? How much are your career, your home, and your reputation worth? Surely all of those things are more valuable to you than a lime green Civic.