Dr. David Fawcett

Sex addiction, porn addiction, and stimulant drugs all have a profound impact over time on sexual desire. When these actions are paired and fused into a single addictive behavior, the impact is even greater. Eventually, even random strangers will merge into the landscape of the user’s sexual fantasies. Everyone is viewed as a potential partner, and potential partners are sexualized, objectified, and dehumanized. While some objectification is a normal component of sexual desire in any man or woman, it becomes supercharged with paired drug use and sex.

Exacerbating matters is the fact that the drug/sex pairing hijacks the user’s sexual desire, quickly and effectively distorting who and what they find sexually appealing. Meanwhile, that sexual desire can go nuclear. Addicts often describe their sexual lust as ramping up to the point of (and even beyond) a powerful obsession. Even after hours of sexual activity, including orgasm and persistent masturbation, sexual desire may continue to burn.

The hijacking of sexual desire that occurs with ongoing sexualized drug use results in several complications, including:

• Reduced Sexual Inhibitions: Psychological restrictions on sexual behaviors are weakened under the influence of drugs. Powerful emotions such as shame, guilt, and anxiety that normally dampen erotic thoughts are minimized while sexual lust is ignited. Someone who is typically inhibited about pursuing sexual liaisons will become fearless with the heightened stimulation of paired drug use and sex.
• Escalation of Erotic Fantasies: Pairing drugs and sex also disinhibits one’s erotic imagination. It allows long-repressed sexual thoughts, feelings, and fantasies to overflow into real behavior, sometimes to the shock of the user. At the same time, because of the tolerance that develops with any addictive behavior, erotic fantasies and desires are constantly escalating in an attempt to replicate prior levels of arousal. Most substance/sex addicts report escalating into sexual fantasies and behavior they would never have considered prior to the addiction.
• Violating Taboos and Personal Values: As increased levels of intensity and stimulation are required, many people find themselves breaking taboos and releasing erotic energy by engaging in outrageous behavior. This is especially likely for those who have felt bound by individual and social restraints. Profiles on sex networking apps and sites often emphasize not only unprotected sex but other behaviors such as rimming, water sports, fisting, multiple partners, breath control, and other scenarios that can become demeaning, abusive, and even dangerous.
• Lack of Impulse Control: Impulse control is a phenomenon directly related to the disinhibiting process. The prefrontal cortex functions as the executive/thinking portion of the brain, regulating impulse control and predicting bad outcomes. Unfortunately, this part of the brain largely goes offline under the influence of addictive drugs and behaviors. Poor judgment and serious consequences often result. One of my clients succinctly stated, “I tried so hard to remember to take my HIV medication. I would set alarms, have friends remind me, but, no matter what, I always missed the dose. When I was in that chemsex zone, any concern about taking my meds seemed a million miles away.”
• Indiscriminate Sex Partners: Most paired substance/sex addicts find that their choice of sex partners quickly becomes indiscriminate. Many users find themselves in situations they describe as violent, weird, or dangerous. In addition to a willingness to have sex with just about anyone, the number of sexual partners also rapidly escalates. One meth user said he went from three partners a year to three partners a day. Such promiscuity is well documented in many studies, indicating that men and women using meth typically report hundreds if not thousands of lifetime sex partners. Worse yet, concerns about STIs are frequently overlooked.
• Increased Sexual Duration: It is not uncommon for substance/sex addicts to find that many hours or even days have passed while they were in an addictive ritual. Meth users often describe meth-sex binges lasting 48 hours and longer. But not without cost. Some people become obsessed with the persistent erotic force in their brains, and many can’t stop trying to have sex even after physical exhaustion and dehydration set in. All other basic needs are set aside, including thirst and hunger which may be suspended by the action of drugs, particularly meth. The lives of many users quickly deteriorate as their exclusive focus becomes drugs and sex—and more of each.

As you can see from this article and my previous post to this site [HYPERLINK], substance/sex addiction creates a world of problems, many of which are common to all addictions, others of which are unique to sexualized drug use. Over time, these issues can become quite severe. The good news is that substance/sex addiction is treatable. Sadly, expertise in treating this unique dual addiction is virtually nonexistent outside of Seeking Integrity.

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If you or a loved one are struggling with sex, porn, or substance/sex addiction, Seeking Integrity can help. In addition to residential rehab, we offer low-cost online workgroups for male sex addicts and male porn addicts new to recovery. Click HERE for information on our Sex Addiction Workgroup. Click HERE for information on our Porn Addiction workgroup.