seeking integrity signs of porn addiction

Signs of Porn Addiction

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Using Pornography to Cope with Life Stressors

First and foremost, porn addicts use pornography to cope with life stressors. They repeatedly and compulsively rely on sexualized imagery to escape (to avoid feeling) emotional discomfort—stress, anxiety, loneliness, depression, shame, boredom, and the like. Often, they spend hours or even days in a neurochemically elevated state (a “high”) created by sexual fantasy and arousal. 

Basically, porn addicts get hooked on the dissociative euphoria produced by erotic imagery and the sexual fantasies engendered by that imagery. They typically find as much excitement and emotional escape in fantasizing about and searching for the perfect image or video as in the sexual act (usually masturbation) in which they eventually engage. They can spend hours, sometimes even days, in this emotionally elevated state—high on the fantasy of sex and, more importantly from an addiction standpoint, disconnected from reality. 

Being Unable to Stop Viewing Porn

The World Health Organization provides clear diagnostic criteria for Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD), a diagnosis that encompasses porn addiction. That definition reads as follows: 

“Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder is characterized by a persistent pattern of failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges resulting in repetitive sexual behavior. 

Symptoms may include repetitive sexual activities becoming a central focus of the person’s life to the point of neglecting health and personal care or other interests, activities and responsibilities; numerous unsuccessful efforts to significantly reduce repetitive sexual behavior; and continued repetitive sexual behavior despite adverse consequences or deriving little or no satisfaction from it. The pattern of failure to control intense, sexual impulses or urges and resulting repetitive sexual behavior is manifested over an extended period of time (e.g., 6 months or more), and causes marked distress or significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. 

Distress that is entirely related to moral judgments and disapproval about sexual impulses, urges, or behaviors is not sufficient to meet this requirement.”

Any person who identifies with the WHO’s definition of Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder or the typical CSAT criteria related to their porn use is probably a porn addict. 

using pornography to cope with life stressors

Common Signs of Porn Addiction

The most common signs a person’s porn use has risen to the level of an addiction include: 

  • Continued porn use despite consequences.
  • Continued porn use despite promises made to self or others to stop.
  • Escalating amounts of time spent on porn use.
  • Escalating intensity in terms of porn content.
  • Loss of awareness and time while using porn. 
  • Lying about, keeping secrets about, and covering up the nature and extent of porn use.
  • Anger or irritability if asked to stop using porn.
  • Reduced or even nonexistent interest in real-world sex and intimacy. 
  • Male sexual dysfunction (erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, inability to reach orgasm) with real-world partners. 
  • Deeply rooted feelings of loneliness or detachment. 
  • Drug/alcohol use/abuse in combination with porn use.
  • Drug/alcohol addiction relapse related to porn use or shame about porn use.
  • Increased objectification of strangers, viewing them as sexualized body parts rather than people. 
  • Spending money (sometimes lots of money) on porn rather than necessities. 

If you or someone you care about are experiencing even a few of these symptoms, porn addiction is likely in play.

Porn Use Becomes a Compulsion

The simple truth is that Individuals who are addicted to pornography feel compelled to look at porn, even when they promise themselves or others that they won’t. Over time, they may organize their lives around pornography. Pornography eventually becomes an obsession to the point where important relationships, interests, and responsibilities are partially and sometimes completely ignored. 

Very often, feeling shameful or remorseful, porn addicts will tell themselves, “This is the last time that I am going to use pornography.” But in a few days or weeks, they’re right back at it. Sometimes they delete or throw away their entire porn collection and feel great about that. But then, when their pink cloud of relief dissipates, as inevitably occurs, they regret the deletion and scramble to reassemble their collection. Many porn users spin their way through this “beat and delete” cycle for years on end. 

Experiencing Intense Cravings

The WHO’s diagnosis for Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder meshes nicely with the criteria Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) have used for many years to identify and diagnose sex and porn addiction. The short version of those criteria reads as follows:

  1. Preoccupation to the point of obsession with addictive behavior (in this case, porn use).
  2. Loss of control over engagement with that behavior, best evidenced by multiple failed attempts to quit or cut back.
  3. Negative life consequences related to that behavior—troubled relationships, issues at work or in school, declining physical health, depression, anxiety, diminished self-esteem, social and emotional isolation, loss of interest in previously enjoyable hobbies and activities, financial woes, legal problems, etc.

Even when addicts know their porn use is obsessive, out of control, and creating problems, they continue to crave it whenever they have an uncomfortable emotion. Food addicts crave food. Alcoholics crave booze. Porn addicts crave porn.

Excessive Time Spent on Porn

Both research and decades of professional experience indicate that porn addicts typically spend at least 11 or 12 hours per week fantasizing about and looking at (and sometimes masturbating to) pornography. Notably, this 11 or 12 hours per week number can be the low end of the spectrum. Many addicts spend double or even triple that amount of time thinking about and engaging with pornography. 

Lack of Interest in Usual Activities

Among the negative life consequences experienced by porn addicts is a loss of interest in hobbies and other activities that used to be viewed as fun. As porn use progresses, the dopamine rewards system in the brain down-regulates so that a higher level of stimulus is required to achieve the same pleasure. In the addiction treatment world, we refer to this as “tolerance” and “escalation.” Unfortunately, it is not just porn that is impacted by this downregulation. Addicts develop “tolerance” to all forms of enjoyment, including hanging out with friends, playing games, watching TV, and more.

Loss of Interest in Sex

As mentioned above, male sexual dysfunction is a common consequence of porn addiction. Thanks to heavy porn use, growing numbers of men (of all ages) are suffering from sexual dysfunction, be it erectile dysfunction (ED), delayed ejaculation (DE), or the inability to reach orgasm (anorgasmia). 

One large-scale study of porn users (not addicts, just users) found that 23% of porn-using men under age 35 (i.e., men in their sexual prime) report some level of sexual dysfunction (most often erectile dysfunction) when having sex with a real-world partner. This research also tells us:

  • The amount of porn a man watches is linked to ED. More porn equals more ED. 
  • Heavy porn users take significantly longer than other men to reach orgasm with a real-world partner. They may struggle to reach orgasm at all.
  • Heavy porn use is linked to an overall dissatisfaction with real-world sex. 

Sadly, porn-induced sexual dysfunction affects not just male porn users but their romantic partners. If a man can’t get it up, keep it up, or reach orgasm, then his partner’s sexual pleasure and self-esteem are also likely to be diminished. 

Setting Unrealistic Expectations for Sexual Experiences

Another sexual consequence of porn addiction can be unrealistic sexual expectations of a real-world partner. This is especially likely with younger men, for whom pornography may serve as a form of sexual education. They see something online that a porn actress seems to be enjoying and they decide that’s what sex in the real world is also like.

being unable to stop viewing porn

Getting Help for Porn Addiction in Los Angeles, CA

Sadly, porn addicts are often reluctant to seek help. Sometimes this is because they are too ashamed to talk about their behavior. Other times it’s because they don’t view their solo sexual behaviors as an underlying source of their unhappiness. If they do seek therapeutic assistance, they often ask for help with symptoms of their addiction—depression, anxiety, loneliness, relationship troubles, and the like—rather than the addiction itself. Many are in therapy for extended periods without ever mentioning (or even being asked about) pornography and masturbation. As such, their core problem remains underground and untreated. 

If you or a loved one are struggling with porn addiction, Seeking Integrity can help. In fact, we offer both inpatient treatment and online workgroups geared specifically toward those in need of porn addiction treatment. For more information, please call us at 1-747-234-4325. We will be happy to help you or your loved one get started on the pathway to healing. 

FAQs

Is porn addictive?
Yes. In fact, it may be the most addictive form of sex. It may even rival cocaine in terms of how addictive it is and how difficult it is to quit.

Do porn addicts experience withdrawal when they get sober?
Yes, though this is typically not physical withdrawal (delirium tremens, night sweats, etc.) that we see with alcohol and opiate drugs. Porn addiction withdrawal is more emotional. Without the “relief” that porn provides, addicts get restless, irritable, and discontent.

Will sexual issues related to porn addiction clear up with sobriety?
Yes and no. With porn sobriety, issues related to sexual dysfunction tend to clear up over the course of several months. However, issues related to unrealistic sexual expectations may remain.