Dr. Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT
If you’re addicted to porn, you know that it has a powerful pull. In fact, many individuals who are addicted to both substances and porn say that it’s much harder to stay sober from porn than from substances. But why? Why is porn so darn addictive?
When asked this question, porn addicts typically say things like:
- It’s always available. Any time I need an escape, it’s there.
- It’s easy to hide.
- It’s one of the few places in my life where I’m in complete control.
- It never says no. I don’t have to be vulnerable or take any emotional risks.
- I can find whatever I want with no fear of judgment.
And it’s true that pornography provides all of those “positives” and more. But these reasons are not what pushes porn over the top from an addiction standpoint. The real reasons porn is so incredibly addictive are as follows:
- Porn offers endless variety.
- Porn sites provide intermittent reward.
Variety is easy to understand. Humans are wired to desire variety. For example, our brains know that our bodies need a variety of foods to get all the nutrients we need to be healthy. This is why we don’t want the same thing every meal, even if that thing is our favorite food. This desire for variety carries over into our sex lives (though many of us opt to forgo this desire when we get married and agree to monogamy).
Porn addicts very definitely crave sexual variety. This is best evidenced by the fact that when a porn addict sees a video that fits solidly within their sexual arousal template, it’s super-hot. Then, when they see it again, it’s kind of hot but not super-hot. By the third or fourth viewing, it’s still objectively hot, but they find themselves clicking past it and looking for something new. Other addictions don’t offer this type of endless variety. With other addictions, the drug that creates the reward is always the same; the rush of newness is simply not there.
The phenomenon of intermittent reward is less obvious but equally powerful, and best evidenced in experiments with lab rats.
When put in a cage with lots to do—cedar shavings, hamster wheels, toys, and other rats to play with and fight with—rats will first and foremost check the food dispenser. If they get a nugget of food every time they push the lever, they figure that out, eat three or four nuggets, and go do something else. If they get a nugget every other time they push the lever, they figure that out as well, eat three or four bites, and go do something else. But if we put a randomization algorithm into the food dispenser so the rats don’t know if or when food is coming, they will push the lever and eat until they vomit. They simply can’t stop.
Slot machines have a similar algorithm, as do video games, and from an addiction standpoint those are the closest relatives we have to pornography. The finely honed algorithms in gambling and gaming programs mix up both the frequency and variety of rewards just enough to hook the user. Think about “Grandma the Slot Jockey” who feeds her entire social security check into the slot machine, unable to stop pressing the button because if she does, the next person might come along and win big on the very next play.
That said, there are some important differences between slot machines, video games, and porn. For starters, porn doesn’t need a built-in algorithm. By its very nature, usually via “tube sites,” it provides intermittent reward all on its own. Even when there are screenshots indicating possible content, users never really know what a video provides until they open it up. It might be awesome; it might be boring. And this keeps porn addicts clicking. They can spend hours telling themselves, “Just one more. Just one more.”
From this, we conclude that the high of pornography arises from more than just sexual arousal. Human beings also get a boost of dopamine from variety and intermittent reward. And it is the combination of all three—sexual arousal, variety, and intermittent reward—that makes porn so incredibly addictive and so difficult to walk away from.
* * * * * * * * * *
Seeking Integrity is proud to serve clients from all across the globe, offering our world-class expertise and care. If you would like to connect about treatment options today, please reach out to us at 1-747-234-4325, or through our contact page.
Integrity. Expertise. Recovery.