Can Adolescents Be Sex/Porn Addicts?

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One of the most potent risk factors for addiction is early exposure to a potentially addictive substance or behavior. Countless studies have found that the lower the age of first use, the higher the odds of developing an addiction. And this is true with all forms of addiction, including sex and porn addiction. When we consider that in today’s digitally-enabled universe, the average age of first exposure to porn is 11, it’s possible we’re in for a tsunami of sexual issues in the decades to come.

But what about right now? Are some kids already hooked on porn, webcams, sexualized chat, and sexting, and hookup apps?

To be honest, asking if young people can become sex or porn addicted is a bit like asking if they can become alcoholic or drug addicted. Of course they can. In fact, they are every bit as vulnerable as adults to addictions of all types – perhaps more vulnerable because their emotional immaturity has prevented them from developing healthy coping skills, and because their brains are more malleable (and therefore more easily wired toward addictive stimuli) than adult brains.

In the online world, sexual content, contacts, and activities of every ilk imaginable can be easily and instantly accessed by anyone who’s interested. If a teen (or a pre-teen) is curious about sex – and almost all of them are – all that he or she needs to do is find a porn site (there are literally millions choose from), a chat site, a virtual sex game, or whatever else it is that looks interesting, and click a button. The child doesn’t have to flash a driver’s license as proof of age. The child doesn’t even need a credit card because most online sexual content is now available free of charge.

Today’s kids almost universally have unfettered access to an online sexual wonderland. And the vast majority of them take advantage. Especially the boys. If you don’t believe me, consider the story of Canadian sex researcher Simon Lajeunesse. When Lajeunesse tried to conduct research on the effects of porn use on adolescent males, he couldn’t, because he was unable to locate any potential test subjects who weren’t already using porn. Without a control group of non-porn using boys, there was no way to make comparisons.

As online sexuality becomes steadily more accessible, more and more kids – mostly boys, but also some girls – find themselves struggling with compulsive sexuality, much as other kids struggle with alcoholism, drug addiction, compulsive gambling, and compulsive video gaming. Generally, these young people deal with a variety of negative life consequences related to their sexual behaviors (especially porn use): trouble in school or at work, relationship issues, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, sexual dysfunction, anxiety, depression, diminished self-esteem, and more.

Do those sound like the same consequences experienced by adult sex and porn addicts? If so, it’s because they are.

Common warning signs that a child may be experiencing problems with sex or porn addiction include:

  • A demonstrated lack of empathy toward other individuals involved (either directly or indirectly) in the child’s sexual behavior
  • Viewing and/or masturbating to pornography or online chats (text or video) for multiple hours per day/night
  • Decreased interest in and/or declining performance in school and extracurricular activities
  • Diminished interest in and/or ability to socialize with peers
  • Excessive interest (or a total lack of interest) in typical adolescent dating activities
  • Secretiveness around computer and smartphone usage – wiping browser histories, clearing texts and phone logs, password protecting devices, owning and using devices in secret, etc.
  • Lying to parents or others about the nature or the amount of sexual/romantic activities
  • Sexual aggression, incest, age-inappropriate relationships, etc.
  • Secrecy in general, such as spending large amounts of time alone in a room with the door locked
  • Sexual behavior involving drug use

If you’re a parent and you’re worried about your child’s real world or online sexual behavior, the best thing you can do is talk to your child in a nonjudgmental way, encouraging an open and honest discussion about all aspects of adolescent sexuality, including the use of online pornography, chat, hookup apps, social media, sexting, and the like.

In such conversations, the biggest challenge you are likely to face is overreacting to fear and discomfort about your child’s sexual life. It is easy to become angry, punitive, dismissive, frightened, or anxious after learning about your child’s sexual behavior. It is wise to work through your feelings about the issue first, and to then determine the discussion/outcome path you want to pursue – keeping in mind that fear and anger-based responses tend to drive away potentially valuable growth opportunities. So you must talk to your child in a nonjudgmental way. There’s a big difference between saying, “This morning I noticed some porn on your computer, and it makes me uncomfortable,” and saying, “Oh my god, I cannot believe you are looking at that awful crap. You’re grounded and we’re taking you to a therapist this very instant.”

We can’t emphasize strongly enough how important it is for you to work through your own reactions before talking to your child. Having done that, you should then try to learn the extent and purpose of your child’s real world and online sexual activity. If the behavior seems extreme (for hours at a time) or it’s being engaged in as an escape/avoidance mechanism, it might be wise to seek the help of an adolescent sexual addiction treatment specialist. For more information and/or treatment referrals for teens struggling with sex or porn addiction, visit our affiliate website SexandRelationshipHealing.com, call us at 747.234.4325, or email us at this link.