Dr. Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT
For a long time, clinicians treating people with porn-related issues found that all (or at least the vast majority) of such clients had a history of early-life trauma – physical neglect, emotional neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, covert incest, etc. This put porn addicts in line with alcoholics, drug addicts, compulsive gamblers, and the like. In fact, there is a large body of research showing that unresolved early-life trauma is a huge risk factor for all types of addiction.
Recently, however, we have seen a new and rapidly growing subcategory of people struggling with pornography. These individuals meet the basic criteria used to identify addiction but lack the underlying early-life trauma that typically drives addictive behavior. Rather than qualifying as traditional trauma-driven porn addicts, it appears these non-trauma-driven individuals have developed a “conditioned” addiction to pornography.
The criteria used to diagnose porn addiction (both traditional and conditioned) are as follows:
- Preoccupation with pornography to the point of obsession.
- Loss of control over the use of pornography, typically evidenced by multiple failed attempts to quit or cut back.
- Directly related negative life consequences, including relationship disconnection, issues at work or in school, social and emotional isolation, depression, anxiety, diminished self-esteem, legal woes, financial struggles, poor self-care, loss of interest in previously enjoyable hobbies and activities, etc.
As stated above, the primary difference between traditional porn addicts and the new category of conditioned porn addicts is that traditional addicts are driven by unresolved trauma while conditioned addicts are not.
Traditional Porn Addicts
Traditional porn addicts are driven by complex (multi-layered) early-life trauma. These individuals learn, usually during childhood and adolescence, that an effective way to escape the pain of their dysfunctional upbringing is to numb out and escape through use of a pleasure-inducing substance or behavior.
Sometimes these individuals discover alcohol and drugs; other times they discover masturbation, pornography, video gaming, gambling, and the like. Whatever the substance or behavior, they learn to use it less for having a good time and more to escape feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness, boredom, shame, etc.
Traditional, trauma-driven porn addicts seek to control their emotions by “escaping” into an emotional void created by their use of pornography. Basically, viewing porn triggers a neurochemical pleasure response (mostly dopamine and adrenaline) that (temporarily) distracts them from any unpleasant feelings they’re having.
Unfortunately, this numbing effect can become a person’s go-to coping mechanism, utilized for relief no matter what is going on. This is a sure sign of addiction. The addict has a feeling, and they automatically and without conscious thought turn to pornography to escape that feeling.
Nearly always, this addictive call and response is developed early in life, with young people seeking to escape the pain of neglect, abuse, inconsistent parenting, and the like through escapist sexual fantasies that are aided and abetted by porn. In short, these individuals repeatedly choose to “self-medicate” their emotional discomfort by numbing out and escaping with pornography.
Conditioned Porn Addicts
This new and rapidly emerging subcategory of porn addicts differs from traditional trauma-driven porn addicts in two significant ways:
- Conditioned porn users lack the unresolved early-life trauma that typically drives addictive behaviors.
- Conditioned porn users’ sex lives almost exclusively revolve around pornography (and porn-like online activities such as sexting, camgirls/boys, and mutual masturbation via webcam).
Typically, conditioned porn addicts start viewing porn at a young age, often before puberty hits. And then they fail to move beyond this easily accessed sexual outlet. For these individuals, porn serves as both sex education and sexual fulfillment.
The unfortunate result of this is that the user’s emotional and psychological development in terms of sexuality and relationships can be stunted – beginning and ending with what they learn from porn. As such, their ability to form and maintain meaningful real-world romantic and sexual attachments may not develop or may not fully develop in the usual ways.
Either Way, Treatment Is Needed
Traditional porn addicts traditionally respond to basic sex/porn addiction treatment. This work focuses first on stopping the addictive behavior, breaking through denial, managing the crisis or crises that precipitated treatment, and developing tactics to combat triggers and relapse.
Once the addiction is under control and the traditional addict has a solid support network, the underlying trauma that drives the addiction can be fully uncovered and processed using standard trauma resolution techniques like EMDR.
For traditional addicts, trauma work is necessary for long-term sobriety and healing, but it should not be undertaken too soon, as trauma work is extremely stressful, both emotionally and psychologically, and can easily trigger a freshly sober addict to relapse.
Initial treatment for conditioned porn addicts mirrors treatment for traditional addicts. In other words, early work is focused on stopping addictive behavior, breaking through denial, managing the crisis or crises that precipitated treatment, and developing tactics to combat triggers and relapse.
At that point, because conditioned porn addiction is not driven by trauma, the treatment approach diverges. Rather than working to resolve early-life trauma, as we do with traditional trauma-driven addicts, treatment transitions toward social development – learning how to develop and maintain real-world romantic and sexual connections.
Admittedly, not all conditioned porn addicts are entirely bereft when it comes to real-world relationships. In fact, some are quite adept socially. But the majority need to be walked through the adolescent and early adult stages of social development to some degree, and that, rather than trauma resolution, is the second-level treatment focus for this population.
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