Dr. Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT
Porn addicts use sexual imagery and fantasy to escape (to avoid feeling) emotional discomfort—stress, anxiety, loneliness, depression, shame, boredom, and the like. Often, they spend hours or even days in a neurochemically elevated state of sexual fantasy and arousal. This state is sometimes referred to as the bubble. It is this trancelike state, rather than any actual sexual behavior, that provides the escapist high of porn addiction.
In this way, porn addiction is like every other addiction. The goal is emotional relief and regulation rather than enjoyment. Addicts don’t drink, use, or act out sexually to feel good; they do it to feel less. Addictions are driven by a desire for emotional escape, not a desire for pleasure.
Porn addicts use the excitement and intensity created by pornography—the “rush” of sexual arousal—to emotionally numb out. Porn is the way they escape from stress and other forms of emotional discomfort, including the pain of underlying psychological issues like depression, anxiety, unresolved trauma, and the like. So again, the addiction is not about having fun; it’s about controlling and regulating emotional discomfort.
Porn addicts are hooked on the dissociative euphoria produced by erotic imagery and the sexual fantasies engendered by that imagery. They typically find as much excitement and emotional escape in fantasizing about and searching for the perfect image or video as in the sexual act (usually masturbation) in which they eventually engage. They can spend hours, sometimes even days, in this emotionally elevated state—high on the fantasy of sex and, more importantly, disconnected from reality.
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If you or a loved one are struggling with sex, porn, or substance/sex addiction, Seeking Integrity can help. In addition to residential rehab, we offer low-cost online workgroups for male sex addicts and male porn addicts new to recovery. Click HERE for information on our Sex Addiction Workgroup. Click HERE for information on our Porn Addiction workgroup.